Liebchen, There's a Piggish Eater on the Lawn
In case you can't read it, this is a story about a wild boar hanging around German towns, eating garbage or plants or grass from people's gardens. So what you need is a Great Dane ! That's what they were bred for - hunting wild boar !
I showed Patch the picture on the news story and I'm pretty sure he growled. Or it might have been a burp from dinner.